#ifndef
#define
There is a grey mouth.
There is a dark tongue.
Small wire snares fill the blank screen's innards.
Watchwords pull mindful drawstrings. Eclipsed sequences establish concurrency.
Slink,
Linguiscapes.
Casual clutter lines the dialog halls, but somewhere reserve words encapsulate the icons of current events.
There is a drake mouth -
A maw from which mammonic rhetoric lisps in flame tongues across flickering shoji,
A cavemouth murmur that corresponds in mason signs until the vestigial smarting elapses.
#endif
1 comment:
i told my thoughts about this one the other night but i think you might like them in writing. first, i am impressed (in the way that it made an impression on me) by the 'ifdnef', 'define' and 'endif' conglomeration of letters. perhaps play with this more in other poems in the future, rearranging letters in a word to make new words.
now about the poem itself. i get the overall impression of hiding things in deceitful language, showing a pretty face or pretty picture of the situation, confusing people, blurring the line between real and imaginary. fog and trickery. there is a solution somewhere but it is hidden or guarded or kept in a locked place. the deception is so overwhelming that none even try to solve the riddles any longer.
i like the variation in lines, long and short, and in pacing, slow and fast. i love 'cavemouth murmur'. i did not get the watchwords line. i also thought of jafar in the second to last line. i don't think i like 'casual clutter', because its not casual, its very deliberate, not quite malicious but certainly not an accident, this rhetoric. 'maw with mammonic' seems a little clunky or awkward, but all the other alliteration and word combination in the poem work well, much more so than in some things you've written where they seem more forced. by far one of your more accessible and effective poems lately.
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