Well, for better or worse there wasn't much I was able to change and rearrange from my musings last night. Perhaps I'm just out of practice doing self-critiques and revisions, or maybe the poem is just getting towards completion. Here's where I am now. I have to let it sit a few days and come back before I decide whether the changes are for the best. For now the poem both is and is not each version. Quantum Poetry! ... sigh.
Out of step with nature
couples blush and cuddle in early spring
- branches are budding, birds birthing
and in fall they bar themselves in
against winter snow
- the trees, comely, blush
and flirting expose their
slender limbs
I once caught two trees kissing
as I looked out my frosted window
listening to autumn winds
- she (blushing red) leaned
in to him, they intertwined
his thick trunk holding him
upright against her
when morning came I noted
- she still bent a bit his way
a lonely branching caught
in his wicker fingers
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